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Segelocvm Song Book

Viewing history:/Segelocvm Song Book
Segelocvm Song Book 2016-10-13T12:18:43+00:00

Below is a series of songs and poems written by an unknown archaeologist during the 1970 excavations at Littleborough (Roman Segelocvm) The original is now held in Bassetlaw Museum.

1. It’s a long way to Segelocum
It’s a long way to go
It’s a long way to Segelocum
To the sweetest site we know
Goodbye Hatfield College
Goodbye Querncliffe Arms
It’s a long way to Segelocum
With the pylons and the farms.
 
2.  Ode to Batch
He stood in the trench at midnight:
His pick was all a quiver
He gave a cough
His quern fell off
And floated down the river.
 
3. What’s the use of finding quernstones,
Gaulstones, loadstone’s, coins and plumstones,
Cesspits, gungepits, flea pits, quernpits,
Down in Screwby Dale?
Rubber custard bouncing,
Graham and Maurine flouncing,
Lights being swiped,
And Tilley’s alight,
And hairy gibbons squashing their bananas,
Peter swearing,
Michael yearning,
Pamela divesting her rouge lingerie;
Meanwhile Batch is gibbon hunting,
Down the Tonage hole.
 
4. Long time ago in Lindum Town
Some fourteen querns away,
A young Batch with his B.A. played.
Along the wide Fosse Way.
Hark now hear the gibbons scream
It’s ‘nanas for tea today
We’ve all to help our Catherine
To fry her cheese souffle’.
 
 
5. Come into the cesspit Maud
The gibbons are out in force
They’re looking at the Roman ford
While Batch is sitting on his …….. 
 
6. O Johnny Boy, the querns, the querns are calling
From trench to trench across the heaped spoil,
O Johnny Boy, the querns, the querns are calling
From where the custard river waters boil,
O hack away and see if that’s fine samien ware
O hack away at that strange feature there
I’ve found a quern down in this stagnant gungepit here,
O Johnny Boy, O Johnny Boy it’s full of querns.
 
7. Are you going to Screwbury Site?
Strata, features, find trays and querns,
Remember me to one who lives there,
He once was a true quern of mine.
 
 8. Batch Wade’s body lies a lies a-mouldering in the trench;
Batch Wade’s body lies a lies a-mouldering in the trench;
Batch Wade’s body lies a lies a-mouldering in the trench;
‘cos he chopped up a stratum full of querns.
Glory glory hack the feature;
Glory glory hack the feature;
Glory glory hack the feature;
‘cos he chopped up a stratum full of querns.
 
9. What shall we do with the drunken B.A.
What shall we do with the drunken B.A.
What shall we do with the drunken B.A.
At the crack of noon?
Chorus
Hooray the Trent is rising,
Hooray the Trent is rising,
Hooray the Trent is rising, at the crack of noon.
Stick him in the cesspit until he’s sober (3 times)
Blind him with the flash of Tony’s camera (3 times)
Put an armed guard around the Reindeer Tavern (3 times)
 
10. How deep is that stratum in the post hole,
The one by the featured trench walls?
How deep is that stratum in the post hole,
The one where we found Caesar’s vest.
 
11. In Screwberry’s fair City, where the querns are so pretty,
I first set my pick on sweet Molly McQuern,
As she wheels her wheelbarrow,
Through sites broad and narrow,
Crying “Strata and features alive, alive-o!”
 
12. All querns bright and beautiful
All features great and small
All querns, finds and bucketsful,
The Lord Quern made them all.
 
13. Ten green features lying in the site;
 Ten green features lying in the site;
And if one mad B.A. should trowel one away,
There’d be nine green features lying in the site.
 
14 God save our gracious Quern.
(As for anthem, be but read Quern for Queen.)
 
15. In yonder trench there lies a feature.
What it is I do not know.
I’ll go and hack it with my trowel.
Til the stratum shows below,
O no John, no John, no John, no.
 
16. John and Mike went up the hill
To empty a bucket of cess,
Mike fell down and John’s fell off,
And made a terrible mess.
 
17. While B.A’s. watched their holes by night
And gibbons swung on high
A certain quern, while in a plight,
Was troweled out of clay.
                              (To be sung in a Cockney accent)
 
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